Over at internetnews.com, my colleague Andy Patrizio covered an event that never was at Stanford University:

What if someone held a debate and only one side showed up? The likely result is what happened here Thursday on the campus of Stanford University, where a bunch of people sat around mostly agreeing with each other.

To be sure, there were some differences of opinion in this debate on Net neutrality, sponsored by the Federal Communications Commission. But they were minor compared to the fireworks that would have ensued had the Internet Service Providers showed up.

Absolutely true. And being the target of the fireworks on behalf of the ISPs must be an unpleasant experience. Not to mention a pointless experience, since debate isn't what the ISPs have in mind at all. They just want to lobby net neutrality into extinction. Clearly they're not interested in a public debate. Otherwise, they'd show up at the, you know, debate.

To be fair, ISP representatives have appeared at other FCC forums. As Patrizio writes, "Comcast did participate at a similar public hearing at Harvard Law School earlier this year." But that one didn't go so well, as Valleywag recounts:

The Harvard hearing, a rare outside-the-Beltway event, ended disastrously for all involved. The hearing had many more attendees than were expected, with the room running out of space well before the hearing began.

For a boring FCC hearing? How could this be? Oh yeah, now I remember:

Comcast flacks confessed they'd paid people off the street to act as seatwarmers.

Like these public-spirited citizens. Suggestion to Comcast: If you ever decide to do another public hearing, implement a tiered payment structure for hired audience members and be willing to pay more for wakefulness. That flat fee's not working for you.