If you're of a certain age, you no doubt remember the commercials from the (long-gone) E.F. Hutton. "My broker is E.F. Hutton. And he says ..."  (Men standing nearby snap their well-coiffed heads around to listen.)

Fast forward to 2008. This is what you'll likely hear -- something I actually heard in a bathroom yesterday:  "My broker says ... don't even look."

This current free fall of the markets is so big it's hard to know what to feel, besides numb. And despair. GM drops 31 percent? Worst week ever for the S&P, potentially?

With the financial channel on the telly, and me chewing my fingernails, I decided today to check my 401k balance at Morganstanley.com. It's almost Halloween, so I figured I could handle a little scare.

Before I got to the frightful figures, Morganstanely.com kindly greeted me with a sort of "please step back from the ledge" screen before I got to my account. I imagine this type of message is appearing on all financial services web sites.

ALERT MESSAGES  
 
PLEASE READ THIS IMPORTANT PLAN ALERT INFORMATION BEFORE YOU CONTINUE
 
       Over the past few weeks, we have witnessed a historic transformation in the financial landscape. While the tremendous speed and magnitude of these events may be unsettling, it is important to evaluate their potential impact on your retirement account based upon accurate information. In that regard, here are answers to some commonly asked questions. Click here. 

 
I didn't bother to check the link, but yeah, Morganstanley.com, we got some frequently asked questions out here in the hinterland. Like, what the hell is going on? What's up with that $700 billion bailout, I mean "rescue plan?" Where should I stick my money, other than my mattress?

The scariest thing is just how far this "historic transformation" will go. What will happen next week? Do I have Columbus Day off? Stay tuned.